Blood Ties Page 8

  Susie had been murdered and there were no leads in the investigation. Sandy was dead and it could have been an accident or murder; this case was an even bigger question mark than Susie’s. I had had a bomb delivered to my apartment, my sister was the only suspect. And the cherry to the sundae, my alcoholic brother was probably hung over in my living-room, and even if all I wanted to do was throw his ass onto the street and never talk to him again, I felt guilty of even thinking about it.

  I grunted. I did not want to leave my bed. Under any circumstances. But I remembered Jared, and my immediate reaction was to smile. Then I realized he was putting up with Noel by himself, and I couldn’t really be mean to Jared like that, not interrupting.

  I removed the covers, got up, put on slippers and reluctantly walked to the living-room. I was surprised to find it empty, but upon hearing noise coming from the kitchen, I directed myself there.

  Jared and Noel sat around the kitchen table, drinking coffee and talking softly. My brother looked worn out, while Jared seemed concerned. If he’d have to put up with Noel’s shit as much as I’d had to, he would not be preoccupied.

  Jared looked up as I entered the kitchen; Noel chose not to.

  “Good morning, Sam. How did you sleep?” Jared asked.

  “Like shit, Jared. What about you?” I was straightforward as I made my way around the kitchen, pouring coffee into a mug and yogurt and cornflakes into a bowl.

  “It was a restless night.”

  “Okay,” I replied, deadpan.

  I didn’t feel like having breakfast with Noel, so I placed the mug and bowl on a tray and walked back to my bedroom.

  I sat on my bed, grabbed the remote control from my bedside table, turned on the TV and selected a news channel. I placed the tray on my legs and set the control next to me. I started eating my yogurt with cornflakes when Jared knocked on the door and popped his head into my room.

  “Come in,” I said after swallowing.

  Jared sat on the other side of the bed slowly, making sure I wouldn’t spill my breakfast.

  “He’s sorry, Sam.”

  “He always is, Jared.”

  “Noel’s going through a lot right now, and he’s really embarrassed that you’re always picking up after him; considering he’s elder, he thinks he should be looking out for you.”

  “Jared, I know you’re trying to do a good thing here, but trust me, there’s absolutely nothing you can say or he can do to change things. Wait, actually, there is. Noel can get sober, go to AA meetings, and stop fucking up everyone’s lives.”

  “He’s feeling terribly guilty.”

  “Jared, he’s a drunk. He has been one for years now. My mom and stepdad choose to ignore the situation. Kelly is unable to care for herself, let alone a thirty-year-old inebriated man. What are his problems, Jared? What story did he tell you?”

  “Noel said his wife is seeking a divorce and wants full custody of their kids. Last night he wouldn’t stop crying…You should cut him some slack, Sam.”

  “Jared, Noel is single. He has no wife, no children, nothing! Every time he gets drunk, he makes up a sob story that attempts to justify his behavior. He tells me he’s about to get fired, but doesn’t work! He can’t hold on to a job, so my mom sends him some money, and he’s somehow managed to make Kelly feel guilty enough to pay for his apartment.”

  “Hasn’t he gone to a psychologist?”

  “He went once, but didn’t go back. The doctor told him he had certain issues to resolve, and Noel didn’t like what he was told, so he never returned.”

  “He really is sorry Sam.”

  “He missed my best friend’s memorial because he was drunk. Susie grew up in our house, she spent more nights over at our place than at her own; Noel was like her elder brother, and he couldn’t garner the will to stay sober for her memorial service!”

  “What will you do now?”

  “I don’t know. Every time I get him, he hurts me. You heard him last night…The psychological damage he causes is far more significant than whatever responsibility I may feel towards him. I’m…I’m done.”

  I looked at Jared, beaten. For whatever reason, when I thought about the situation, I found myself always relenting and giving in to my guilt. But now, talking it over with Jared, even if he was trying to explain Noel’s behavior, I knew I couldn’t put up with it any more. Yes, he was my brother, he had an addiction, a disease, but I could not make him change. If Noel couldn’t see for himself the problems he had and caused, I couldn’t do it for him. And I loved him, I really did, but there was a limit to the amount of pain I could endure. And it had been reached.

  “Look Sam, whatever you decide to do, it’s up to you. I’m not fully aware of your brother’s life, and I don’t know everything you’ve had to put up with. My sister’s addiction was completely different and that whole situation was dissimilar. All I can tell you is, Noel wants to talk with you. If you’re ready to sever all ties with him, just listen to what he has to say, for the last time.”

  I looked at the now empty bowl. What Jared was asking for wasn’t irrational. I sighed, gulped down what was left of my coffee, and looked at Jared. After picking up the tray, I stood up and walked to the kitchen.

  Noel sat quietly, following me with his sight as I placed the tray on the counter and then sat across him.

  “Hung-over?” I asked sternly.

  Noel’s eyes locked on mine and got teary. I’d feel sorry for him, and would probably be moved by a thirty-year-old expressing his feelings like that, but I was simply fed up. This were not the first tears I’d seen in his eyes after a night—or day—of drinking our doing drugs.

  “Sam,” Noel whispered, “thank you for last night. I’m so sorry, I really am,” he said as he choked up, but didn’t cry. He sighed and shook his head. He looked at me with pleading eyes, but I wasn’t sure of what he expected from me. “I promise you Sam, this is the last time you have to put up with all of this, with me getting wasted and Brody having to call you to pick me up. I’m so embarrassed, I’ll have to get him a DVD or something to thank him,” Noel added, trying to lighten the mood.

  I stared at him, confounded. Was he really expecting me to buy his bullshit? He seemed to think I hadn’t heard his words before.

  “Noel, you’re right. I want you to listen to me carefully, okay?” I spoke slowly and earnestly, seeking to avoid a violent confrontation. “Last night was the last time I answered Brody’s call. This is not a warning, it’s a statement. Before you get all worked up, I need you to pay attention to what I have to say: you’re a drunk, you are a drug addict, you’ve got addictions, and you’re in denial. If you refuse to look at yourself and try to change, I can do absolutely nothing for you. Every time you drink Noel, you hurt me, as well as everyone around you. I’m sorry, but I can’t muster the strength to put up with you anymore. I’m just telling you this because I want you to know it’s not that I don’t care for you or don’t love you; it’s simply that the amount of pain you cause when you’re drunk overrides my love for you. I am sorry to have to tell you this, but I can’t take it anymore.”

  Noel looked at me, perplexed. He blinked, took a deep breath in and exhaled. Dramatically, he gazed around and finished by setting his sight on mine again.

  “You can’t take it anymore, Sam? You can’t take it?” Noel asked, the tone of his voice started low but rose with every word he uttered; he was going to argue heavily, I knew it. “I’m so sorry I can’t live up to your expectations! I’m sorry I’m a burden for you, Samantha. You, with your holier-than-thou attitude. Do you think it’s easy, trying to live my life with you and Kelly by my side, always nagging me to change my ways? Haven’t you ever considered that maybe you’re the ones who need the attitude change? Mom sees nothing wrong in me, and she’s the sanest person I know! I do not have a drinking problem; I’m always fine, but all Brody does is overreact and make a huge deal out of everything! And you certainly like to magnify what you consider to be my problem Samantha, so
that you can come in riding your stallion and save the day, don’t you? Stop trying to find bad things in me to make yourself feel better, and focus on your own defects!” Noel spat out at me, shoved his chair back, stood up and stormed off; I heard the door slam shut.

  Jared entered the kitchen, pulled a chair, sat by my side and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned onto him and took a deep breath; I was shocked. Noel’s reaction had surprised me; I’d expected an outburst like the one he’d had if he’d been drunk…But sober? He was in a deeper denial than I’d thought.

  “I’m sorry you had to endure that because of my insistence,” Jared said apologetically, after kissing my forehead.

  I shook my head slowly, dismissing his statement.

  “I needed to get that out of my system, Jared. The conversation with Noel was inevitable; the fact that it took place now is actually a relief for me; I’m at peace with myself, I’m not carrying the pressure of caring for him anymore. I know it sounds awful, but he’s quite literally drained me.”

  “You don’t owe me any explanations, Sam. I only care about your feelings; Noel is a big man who should take responsibility over his actions. If he can’t do it and he’s in the denial I think he is, I believe the answer would be a serious therapeutic treatment. But that’s none of my business. Will you be all right?”

  I sighed and nodded. His embrace felt comfortable and safe, exactly what I needed.

  We remained seated, holding each other for a short while. Neither of us spoke, for we both dwelled in the silence.

  Jared’s cell phone rang and we parted. I decided I’d take a shower, get dressed and go over to Susie’s to carry out my part of her will.

  Once I was set to go, I went to the living-room to let Jared know of my plan for the rest of the morning and possibly early afternoon. He agreed but told me he’d obviously join me, so I had to wait about twenty minutes until he was ready to go as well.

  At Susie’s apartment, we ran into Ray, who was looking at photo albums, piling up the ones they appeared in together and the others separately. He nodded in acknowledgement at us, but wasn’t very sociable. I guess he was still upset at my interrogation, plus the emotional pain brought by going through Susie’s stuff.

  I went to her bedroom and was surprised to find the bed was bare. Then I realized the police or crime scene investigators had probably taken the linens as evidence. Jared confirmed my suspicions.

  I took a deep breath and looked around. Where to begin?

  I decided to start with Susie’s jewelry. We’d shared a passion for long, dangly, colorful, eye-catching earrings, so most of them I kept. I separated the ones I wouldn’t be taking back home with me and placed them in a small bag. I moved on to her walk-in closet.

  I gazed around at the folded shirts, the hanging pants, skirts and dresses, the lined up shoes and boots, the piled up sweaters…Susie’s scent was still there. I had to blink repeatedly to keep tears from running down my face. Jared had realized I’d gotten upset, and he gently squeezed my hand to let me know I had his support. I nodded, took a deep breath in, and started going through sweaters.

  Unfortunately, Susie often chose creamy or camel colored clothes; I say unfortunately because due to the fact that my skin color is very light, if I were to wear her clothes in winter, I’d look like the living-dead. I’m not the kind of person to go to a tanning salon in the middle of January, and I wasn’t planning on changing my habits just to keep Susie’s clothes. So most shirts—except black, blue, and violet ones—were placed in the bag for goodwill.

  Susie was skinnier than me, which meant her trousers and most skirts would be donated. Her dresses were magnificent and I decided to keep a couple that were a bit loose on her just in case I ever had the opportunity to wear them. I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I couldn’t dismiss Chanel and Givenchy.

  Next came the boots and shoes. Manolo Blahnik, Christian Louboutin, Prada, Jimmy Choo, Andre Perugia…I gasped. Not because I wasn’t aware of Susie’s shoe collection, God only knows how much she loved beautiful footwear; I gasped because I knew I’d have to let the shoes go…Susie’s feet were larger than mine. I pondered using cotton or thick socks, but I knew it wouldn’t work. Susie’s shoes would find another closet that wasn’t mine.

  I grabbed a suitcase and Jared helped me put the clothes I wouldn’t be keeping in it. The shoes required four bags, and after picking only six purses—Susie had many more, but they were huge, not really my style—, I placed the smallest inside the smaller, then inside the regular sizes, and finally into the biggest.

  At around one, the clothes and accessories were packed. Jared, reluctant to leave me alone with Ray, called for Chinese delivery and we had our lunch there. Ray left before the food arrived; he’d already picked the things he wanted to keep, and he showed them to me to avoid me worrying if any of the items he’d taken had gone missing.

  We parted on bittersweet terms; I promised I’d call him for the scattering of the ashes.

  Jared helped me go over the limited CD and DVD collections; Susie wasn’t much into music and didn’t have much time to watch movies, so she’d normally rent them instead of purchasing them. As I already had the CD’s and her movie taste was quite the opposite of mine, all those items were packed for goodwill.

  I kept on going through Susie’s stuff and by four I was set. I called Bill Morris to let him know; he thanked me and told me to leave the bags for goodwill in the apartment, he’d make sure they were delivered.

  I went through Susie’s computer but found nothing relevant to anything; it was all work stuff. Her laptop, recently released from the police department, was just as useless. Of course, I wasn’t expecting a file filled with clues named who killed me.doc but some sort of hint might have been good.

  Jared helped me carry the stuff I’d chosen for myself to my car, and then I went to Susie’s garage to get hers. A silver Lexus RX beamed at me. I had no idea of what I’d do with it, but I decided I wanted it at my place. Jared checked for anything that could mean danger for me, and after reassuring me of the car’s safety, we drove over to my apartment, caravan style.

  I unpacked the clothes and stuff as Jared spoke on the phone. He seemed concerned and very serious; I gathered he was talking with Aidan, but the topic of the conversation remained a mystery to me, due to Jared’s mumbling and Aidan’s lack of yelling.

  After I was done putting everything in its new place, I stared at the new order and hugged myself. I needed the comfort of someone’s arms around me. I needed to feel love. Loved. But I didn’t know where I could find it. I went to the kitchen and prepared a cheese sandwich for Jared and one for me. I set the coffee-maker on, prepared two mugs with their respective spoons, positioned table-mats for two, and waited; Jared was still on the phone.

  I poured the coffee, set the mugs and plates on each of the mats, and motioned Jared that snacks were served. He nodded but looked somber. I could tell something was off, but I had no way of knowing until he told me.

  Choosing to enjoy my sandwich and coffee, I pretended not to care; my mind drifted back to Susie’s apartment, now lifeless.

  I had just finished my food when Jared entered the kitchen, forcing me out of my reminiscence. He looked at me with reluctant eyes; Jared was stalling the news. I stared at him expectantly, showing the urge I had of being informed.

  “Your sister, Kelly, she’s been targeted.”

  “Is she dead?” I asked, fear in my voice.

  “No, she’ll live. She’s at the hospital now. Aidan’s already there.”

  “Let’s go,” I stated before Jared had the chance to say anything else.

  I grabbed the keys that belonged to the Focus, tossed them at Jared, and rushed to the elevator. He locked the door and we made our way down to the garage, into the car, and towards the hospital in silence.

  8

  Jared led me through the somber, quiet hospital hallway up to my sister’s room. I knew we’d gotten there because Aidan and a young pol
iceman were standing outside the door, gazing around, waiting for Jared and I to arrive.

  Aidan nodded at us and I sprang into the room. Jared talked with his brother and the policeman about the accident, while I was left to wonder what had happened; Jared hadn’t uttered a single word on the ride there, and neither had I. The mere fact that Kelly was alive and out of mortal danger was enough information for the time being. I wanted her to tell me what had happened.

  Kelly lay on the hospital-bed, with an IV line sticking out of her left arm, her face badly bruised, her right leg in a cast and bandages over parts of her neck and right arm. I crept to her side, kissed her on the forehead and sat on a chair next to her. She was asleep, with a frown on her face. I placed my hand over hers and remained still, gazing at her.

  After about half an hour, Kelly opened her eyes. She looked around wearily, confused, dazed.

  “Sam?” Kelly asked with a broken voice. “What’s going on?”

  “You’re in the hospital; there’s been an accident. Do you remember anything?”

  Kelly breathed slowly. She closed her eyes and two fat tears rolled down her cheeks. I wiped them off with my free hand and pressed the other lightly.

  “I…I remember leaving my place in the morning, at around eleven. I was going shopping; I need a black dress for Sandy’s funeral, it’s tomorrow. I got to the garage and when I was a few feet away from my car, I pressed the alarm button, but…”

  “But what, Kelly?”

  “The alarm didn’t go off, so I pressed again, harder. My car exploded and the blast sent me flying against another car. The surrounding cars were pretty damaged too. I don’t know who could have done this, Sam. I’m scared,” Kelly whispered, looking straight into my eyes, more tears than I could wipe away flowing down her bruised face.

  “It’ okay Kelly, you’re safe now. No one can hurt you here. You’re being treated for the injuries you’ve suffered; you’ll be as good as new,” I tried to ease her off her worries.

  “Why did this happen to me, Sam? What have I done to set my karma off like this? Who could possibly want to harm me so violently? I won’t be safe until the detectives track down whoever did this to me.”